Friday, February 11, 2011

10 years of blogging, and blogging, and blogging.


Of all the scenes in the epic The Social Network movie, this was the scene that spoke volumes to me. That was me in 2001 when I started blogging: drunk, angry, stupid, and blogging. Well, minus the drunk part (sometimes).

It's been ten years since I decided to broadcast to the then small online community about my crushes, my day's events, and my favorite TV shows. Nothing much has changed since then, and in this age of niche bloggers, I never really transitioned from being a personal online journal keeper to a pro blogger.

After 10 years, one must expect that I must've made it big in the blogging world by now. Friends ask me if I am making money out of my blog(s), and when I say "No," they give me this confused "Then what the hell are you wasting your time for?" look.

I have to admit, I missed the pro blogging wave when I started locking my entries and making them available only to a few friends. But it was at that time, when I was in Livejournal (LJ), was angry, and stupid, and blogging, that I was able to form a voice of my own. In LJ, I was the girl who likes crack,* obsessed with TV shows, likes quoting from The Office, has all these issues, and has a wacky father who brings home possum hide bags from Australia. People would've loved LJ!Mara. All the drama, the obsessive fandom entries, and gratuitous photos of my lunch. But it would not have gotten me the writing opportunities I have right now if such entries were made public.

It was in 2009 when I finally made my own madness public. Evidently, I am more guarded with my words now. There is a sense of freedom and zest in the way I used to write post-LJ, only for LJ!Mara to die down and evolve into a Wannabe Beauty Writer.

All of us has to do a lot of growing up, and I certainly did with the way I write. I don't use my blog(s) to pick fights with stir the ire of other bloggers people anymore. I don't verbally vomit frustrations and bad customer service rants via my blog(s) anymore. We have Twitter for that. Although I still wish I can be more open without giving too much of myself online.

It's been 10 years, and I may not be The Maraisms that my one supportive reader predicted that I would be in the Blogging Industry, but I am proud to say that this blog is my own. Browsing through my LJ entries, this blog's entries, and all the cringe-worthy seekret** blogs I used to have, I am happy to report that I may have not come full circle but I have definitely evolved. Well, I have to after 10 years, right?

This blog, this blogger, has gone through so many confused episodes. But now I know what I want do with this little space of my own. I just want to call it mine, with no pretentiousness, no grand ambitions to be the #1 Blogger in the World.


 I just want to write.


*Not to be confused with cocaine. Basically, crack is silly, intentionally non-serious, and has a high tendency to be extremely crazy and unfounded, such as purposeful OOC-ness or playing on cliches, inside jokes, and/or fanon. The term crack probably stems from crack as in crack cocaine, as opposed to a crack in a wall. As in, so horrendously unfounded/silly that only one could have come up with it while under the influence of crack.

**Still using LJ linggo, yo.


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